Even though my dog is a pain in the friggin’ asshole, (the actual hole part), I love him.

I pat his head as I go by him. And then smell my dog-stink hand and make a mental note to wash hands soon. I make comfy little beds next to where I’m working so Dog can curl up next to me. I fold a down comforter on the passenger seat when we ride in the car so he can lie down and relax. Whenever I eat, I know he can smell it so I give him a tiny bite at the end.

My Aunt said once that dogs’ sense of smell is so strong that it would be cruel to eat in front of one and not give him at least a taste. This Aunt also put a tampon in the vag of her Great Dane so she could sit on the couch while in heat. (The dog removed it)

So I am not averse to sharing with my dog.  But when I’m only allowing myself two Oreo’s (at a time) cuz I’m watching the calorie intake, I don’t need Mr. Sneaky Pants sneaking one! At first I thought I had already eaten it myself and forgotton. C’mon, it happens!! But then I saw a bit of the chocolate cookie in the bed I’d made for him so he could be next to me. It even took me a moment then to put the pieces together.  I must have looked away and Mr. Sneaky went in for the silent kill.  Of my cookie.

So, I picked up the bit of cookie and even though it was a little dog-slimed… Have mercy… the chocolate part is my favorite part!  No ‘double stuff’ for me.  Give me the original. No mint, no brown or colored cream, no fudge dunked (hey, how’d you like to be in that meeting… “NOW what can we do with that damned Oreo??!!!”)

So, I don’t need to finish the story, do I? We’ve all been there.